The First Black President

Saab LoftonThe First Black President

By Saab Lofton

"In order to make a democracy work you have to stand behind it, you have to live it, you have to serve it -- even when you don't like it. If you don't, you will ABSOLUTELY LOSE IT. You cannot refuse. You can't turn your back and walk away anymore. You can't look down on your government, because if you do, your government, in the end, will look down on you."
--The Greatest American Hero, from the episode, Vanity, Says the Preacher
(1983)

I've been wanting to be President of the United States ever since I was a little kid. When I turned 35 in 2004, I registered as a presidential candidate and I will continue to do so every four years until I die -- or somehow, actually win ...

I won't spend any money campaigning since it'll no doubt take not just one but a series of Biblical miracles to get my black ass in the White House next year, so this will be a faith-based candidacy. If God ever wanted to prove -- beyond any shadow of a doubt -- that He/She/It exists, this is His/Her/Its big chance.

Qualifications? Please! Look who's in charge now! Am I worried about going out like JFK? Please! The dream of every samurai is to die a hero's death.
Bring it on!

Here are a few of the stances in my platform ...

1) We the people need a Greenpeace version of FDR's New Deal. Since the environment is in such a dangerously sorry state, there are more than enough jobs for EVERYBODY -- including "illegal" immigrants ... I'd tax the rich and cut the military budget so we can afford to train EVERYONE in America's ghettos, barrios and trailer parks to build zero emission vehicles, grow industrial hemp (which can make fuel, fabric, paper and plastic) and install solar power panels onto houses and buildings.

2) The CIA and the School of the Americas? Abolished. Period. If they're not convicted for Human-rights abuses, the former employees of these genocidal organizations might find new jobs in my administration. Since I appreciate the need for stealth and intelligence, I'd still want the means by which MIAs and hostages could be rescued, so maybe these employees could transfer to Delta Force or the Navy SEALs. But violently sabotaging elections in the so-called third world so that commies can't win them (Iran, Guatemala, the Congo, Indonesia, Chile, etc. etc.)? That's OUT.

Going after the polluters and tax evaders of the corporate elite would keep my soldiers pretty busy -- especially since I'd END the racist War on Drugs as soon as I took office -- and anyone under my command would only be allowed to use non-lethal weaponry. Be it the immobilizing "sticky foam"
former weapons inspector Scott Ritter told me was used by Marines in Africa; be it tranquilizer darts; Tasers; you name it. If I wanted to bomb a place, I'd use knockout gas. If I wanted a dictator out of power, I'm NOT going to sacrifice innocent civilians to do it.
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I once said the only war I would've fought in was the Spanish Civil War of 1936, on the side of the anarchists (as any legitimate historian will tell you, if General Franco was defeated there never would've been a WWII), but that's before I picked up a great book called How Far We Slaves Have Come!
Nelson Mandela and Fidel Castro tag-teamed to write it and they also appear on the front cover side by side.

It turns out a key battle was fought in 1988 at Cuito Cuanavale in southeast Angola so the South African apartheid system could be weakened enough for Mandela's movement to thrive. Castro provided assistance, even though it was risky for Cuba to send military forces overseas. After he was freed, Mandela traveled to Cuba and paid tribute: "Without the defeat of Cuito Cuanavale our organizations would not have been unbanned. The defeat of the racist army at Cuito Cuanavale has made it possible for me to be here today."

3) Anyone who has a problem with homosexuality needs to rent Charlton Heston's Soylent Green. By not having children, gays keep Earth's population down -- so if anything, they're an all-natural part of God's Divine Plan.
Help them or leave them alone, but do NOT bash them.

4) Until it gets a clean bill of heath from the likes of Amnesty International, all aid to Israel would immediately be cut off. I don't want to hear anything about the necessity of a Jewish homeland. The entire planet Earth is a Jewish homeland, and the sooner the Jewish community accepts someone like Lenny Kravitz (the son of Ukrainian-Jewish American NBC television news producer Sy Kravitz, and Bahamian-American actress Roxie Roker, best known as her character Helen Willis on the hit 1970s television sitcom The Jeffersons) as the future of Judaism, the better.

5) Free, universal health care now! If anything, we need to emulate Cuba's Medical Justice League.

I can be reached via either of my two websites, saablofton.org and saablofton.com if you want to know more about me or my quixotic campaign.

http://coanews.freespeech.org/article/2007/the-first-black-president